the chase

I haven't ever thought about it much before.

Until I read an article that said,

"But who are we chasing? 

What are we running after?"

And my thoughts catapulted elsewhere.

Every night for as long as I can remember

Every night my dreams revolve 

around the exact same theme:

Hiding.

My dreams are pretty bizarre.

Some of them are hilarious.

Most of them are terrifying.

I go through different phases:

dreams I think are real,
and lucid dreams I know aren't real.

(Those are the dreams I have some control over.)

I can usually choose where I escape to,
(It usually ends up in the vast mountainside.)
I can chose who I try and hide with,
(Which is why my friends always get wrangled into every dream.)

I can choose who I run with,
(Although I usually don't want to get someone mixed up in it with me.)
I can request obstacles to get in the chaser's way.

(Which sometimes works.)

But that's about it.

No matter what the dream is,

lucid or vividly real,

I can always fly.

I go from place to place.

I go through some little happy moment,

and then it is abruptly brought to a close-

When I am found.

 And then I seek solace elsewhere.

 

In the dream I know I'm being chased 

Because I did something wrong.

But what is it?

I never have asked.

I never know.

I've never been captured 

without being able to escape.

But lately it's getting closer and closer.

Sometimes I'll even fly miles away 

over the mountain side,

Where I am finally free from running.

I land in places where they need my help.

I'm the only one who can save them.

But the minute that I start to help
He has found me.

And I leave them helpless

As I abandon for safety.

The entire night
I'm terrified.
I try to escape.

I try to hide.

I try to start over.

But no matter what I do

I am always on the run.

Chased by my past.

And when I wake up,

The chase continues.