Wherever my thoughts take us

Some people should NOT post Art tutorials on Youtube.

There should be some sort of qualifications to pass first.

If you're showing how to draw a nose,

and you're using a reference side by side 

To show how accurate you are

Then be accurate, for goodness sakes.

I don't know if it's just because I've trained my eye,

But the angles in your drawing,

And the angels in the picture
Are clearly NOT the same.

If you're posting a video titled
"The little things that make a big difference in your drawing"

Don't you think you should take that into account

and be accurate in replicating the picture

noticing the little details????

Because your drawing does NOT look like the reference. 

---

I'm a brat.

I just get passionate about art.

And people who claim to have

over 50 years of experience 

in fine art and illustration

Should take their own advice.

Just sayin'

I don't claim to be amazing at art,

I know I'm not.

I'm still learning.

And I have a LOT left to learn.

But I get so passionate about art.

That's what makes me think I should be an artist.

Because I really do love it.

So very much.

Sometimes I may get sick of it,

Sometimes it may stress me out,

But Most of the time I love it.

It just works with me.

It makes sense.

I have a natural inclination to it.

I love it.

Last night I started watching speed drawings on youtube.

They're AMAZING.

They make it look so easy.

But mostly, they get my creative juices flowing.

They make me want to create.

I had an itch to create.

It was 1 o clock in the morning.

But I pulled out my little summer sketchbook.

I've accidentally dropped my phone 

so very many times.

Off the second floor at school,

Just walking down the street,

Basically everywhere.

It's almost died in snow.

It's almost died everywhere.

 I've had it for two years.

It's indestructible! :)

It's a keyboard phone,

And it's perfect.

I love it.

Yesterday I climbed to the top of this huge tree

And I had this huge random urge to drop my phone

Just to watch it fall.

No, don't.

Just do it.

(It was a boy moment, 

acting on impulse.)

And I watched it fall.

Bounce off of branches

And dance on it's way 

down      

          to 

the    

         ground.

(I promise these random thoughts will flow together at one point)

My phone is starting to die in a way.

The colors are out of wack.

White is pink

And sometimes it's green,

And sometimes there's

crazy color patches of both.

So it's fun to take pictures of people on my phone

and draw the color shapes in their face.

It's a crazy style.

Right now that's like all my sketchbook contains.

I take a picture of myself and then I change it a lot in the drawing.

Because I don't like drawing myself.

But no one in my family will pose for a picture so I can draw them.

Aaron did once.

And then he was offended that I drew him with an abstract-ish style.

So with this itch I did NOT want to draw myself.

I hopped back out of bed and asked Adam if I could take a quick picture of him.

He just got back from work.

I waited for him to come home.

I had just said goodnight,

But this urge changed my mind

and i decided to delay sleep even more.

It was 1 o clock in the morning.

But I pulled out my little summer sketchbook.

 It has been so long since I've sketched.

I've missed it.

I started drawing,

And the pieces came together.

It all worked.

My first instincts were right.

It came together!

 And as time passed

It got better and better.

I love it when that happens.

It's so rare.

So so rare.

But it makes all those drawings that just don't ever work

Suddenly worth it.

And you realize how much you've learned since then.

Ah, such a good feeling.

So I stayed up drawing till 2.

It was all worth it.
The sketch was a little weird,
But it was the process.
The amazing process.

I have this crazy wild dream.

I want to be an artist.

Yes, as a living.

Yes, I know I'm crazy.

Thank you.

 

Last night

(before I looked up speed drawings on Youtube)

I started thinking about my future as an artist.

I started looking up scholarships for college

and using these websites that help you plan your future.

I'm a Junior this year, 

It's time to start applying for scholarships

and start figuring things out.

When I tried to select what occupation I wanted

It wasn't on the list.

My dream is unrealistic.

It's rare to make it.

It's a hard journey.

It's unrealistic to make it.

But as of right now,

That is my plan.

Bah humbug, math teachers who don't believe in me,

and think I'm highly foolish.

I don't want to follow in your footsteps anyway.

Antonio Sacre.

I remember when he came to our school during lunch 

and shared his life and his poems with us.

He taught me a lot.

What he said resonated in me as truth.

One thing he talked about was

finding a way to make money 

doing what you love.

That was the day I decided 

I didn't care about their opinions anymore.

In that room I was surrounded by

future doctors

and future scientists

and teachers

and lawyers

and future CEO's of huge companies.

I used to feel ashamed to admit that I want to be an artist.

Somehow that makes me an irresponsible loon.

But I'm learning not to care about that anymore.

This is my life.

I am NOT going to spend it

doing what I don't want to do
Just to make money.

I am going to be a mother.

I am going to have an adorable family.

And I can do portraits and commissions 

to help my husband support our family.

When you have an unrealistic dream

Your Leavitt Stubbornness kicks in

And life becomes exciting.

Life becomes an adventure.

I'm excited to prove them wrong.

Because unrealistic dreams are what keep me going.

To anyone who also wants to pursue a risky career

Or who is about to do something that seems unrealistic.
To you I say this:

You're not alone.

You are one of the few.

One of the few brave enough

To do what feels right

Despite all the risks.

And I know He will give us strength 

to do the impossible.
 

Haily.